Happy Birthday Dad

Happy Birthday.

To a Father that is held above all others.

Not because he has super powers, or has saved a baby from a burning building.

No. Because growing up, he was not loved like he loves me.

Because at the age of 21, he had, and then lost something that takes years to come back from.

Because he didn’t let that cripple him, but met my mother.

Because he raised me, a crazy ginger boy, more sensitive than your average kid.

Because he provided for a family when it was impossible to make the right decisions.

Because I KNOW we kids weren’t easy to raise.

Because it could have been easy to give up.

Because choosing God meant life would get harder at times.

Because he knew how to live in plenty and in want.

Because modeling a good marriage meant showing his weaknesses, swallowing his pride, and resolving a fight.

Because the years when presents were in low supply were some of the best years we had as a family.

Because I am his “bud” even to this day.

Because he was there for my baseball games, football games, soccer games.

Because after being bullied to the point of tears, he wanted to tear down those kid’s walls and convey my pain.

Because he bailed me out of too many problems I caused.

Because he gave his blessing on my moving overseas, even though I know it killed him inside.

Because he’s proud of me, who I’ve become, and what I have devoted my life to.

Because he chose to be a better father than his own.

Because he told me he loved me every chance he had.

Because at the end of the day, I want to resemble no other man but my Father.

Happy Birthday Dad, I love you so much, and I miss you. I hope that I will be as good of a Father as I’ve seen in you.

Your Bud,

Eric

Allow Me to Pop Your Bubble

In case you were under the impression that I am living the good life over here, sipping cocktails, kicking my feet back in the warm, dwindling rays of the New Zealand sunset every week, allow me to pop your bubble. No I’m not donning a hobbit costume, herding sheep through the exquisite mountainside, going on wine tours, vacationing on the weekends, hitting the beach whenever I can, eating at highly rated establishments, or adopting a general “take it easy” mentality.

Let me take you on an eye opening journey through what my life looks like up here and what the reality of the situation looks like.

I wake up. I figure out how I am going to eat, pay for gas, and where I’m gong to live next week. I worry. Yeah, I worry a lot. I pray for continued reliance on God. I pray for peace amidst the chaos. I hope that tomorrow is the day I can stop worrying about finances. I swallow my pride (admission: this is my newest addition to the “things Eric loathes to do”) and asking for help when I can’t do it. I keep myself busy filling out job applications and watching tv shows, reading books, or writing because if I stop for one second, I will think about my family and how much I miss them. I constantly remind myself why I’m here, my calling, and what I sacrificed to get here.

Sound familiar? NZ is no different than any other part of the world when it comes to daily struggles. Pretty mountainsides and golden sunsets don’t buy you food, close a mortgage, resolve a fight with your spouse, keep kids off the street, end injustice, create equality, or stop a kid from putting a gun in his mouth.

You want to know the sad thing? I haven’t seen anything yet. I’m still VERY green to this country, and I will be shocked. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon. New Zealand is filled with sadness, pain, suffering, damage, grief, and wrongdoing…And if you thought I came here to escape the problems of America to go and live in a paradise…then you are so far outside of reality, that I can’t help you. It doesn’t matter if you live in Fiji, Hawaii, or Jamaica…brokenness will follow you, because there isn’t a place on this Earth that doesn’t have any.

I realize that I have perpetuated this in the past with only showing photos of the good things I’ve been exposed to in this country. I have since stopped doing that on facebook, but the truth is I can’t even properly display in photo, video, or even text…as I am doing now…the true horrors I am exposed to in New Zealand. Nor would you want to hear about them. The truth exposes things and forces you to step out of what is comfortable. We like comfortability. We like it so much that we have fallen in love with “talking” about things that matter, yet rarely do anything of personal sacrifice. Rarely acting towards “otherness”, rarely REALLY believing in what we talk about.

Still, even someone like myself, who left everything behind to live-out my calling, I found myself asking the important questions, “What am I doing for these people I came here for? How am I living in “otherness?” How am I actually living how Christ called us? Christ became a human being, talked to whores, touched lepers, broke the sabbath and had Sunday lunches with sinners. To live like Christ? This means: Otherness. Pay attention to “others” and love them. Actually DO those things.

Living in New Zealand is not easy, let me make that very clear, and I hope I have. This was not an easy decision to move here, and life here is not glamorous. Let me also make clear that I do not hate living here. The reason I don’t hate living here is that I truly believe in this country and I believe in making a change here. I have committed to New Zealand, and I’m not giving up on her. And though it’s not comfortable, I will continue to force myself to consider the “other” and to love them in my work. This is seeking the kingdom of God. (Matt 6:33), and if anyone does this, God will take care of the rest.

This I needed you to know.