King of the Forest

Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the “ape” in apricot? What have they got that I ain’t got?

Recently, I attended a weekend retreat for the internship I took through the Maxim Institute in Auckland New Zealand. Alumni Weekend. A time where interns, past and new get together and laugh about old stories, update each other on what the internship has done for them, eat, drink, and you know…be merry. Obviously it’s so much more than that, but I want to talk about something that greatly touched me over that weekend.

Continue reading “King of the Forest”

A Christmas Scene

Hey y’all.

I wrote a Christmas piece for the season. But I wrote it on behalf of another site I write for. So if you want to read it, check it out here:

Enjoy, thanks!


It wasn’t an Easy Decision….

For those of you, my readers, who are wondering what I plan on doing NOW that I have graduated…I wrote this for you. It is a detailed description of the process I went through many years ago to be where I am today. Enjoy.

Hello everyone. Friends, family, readers, and other people I know but are somewhere in between.

Some of you know what this is about, and some of you are completely in the dark. 3 years ago, I had been wrestling with a decision that entered my brain as a mere idea. That Idea, was working full time at an agency, in New Zealand.

It began with Corbin telling me that NZ had the highest teen suicide rate. I was sympathetic, but it never resonated with me. Next, we began learning about depression in my classes of Social Work. Then one year about 2 years ago, I took a class and I was required to read a note from an Asian, young adult. It was a suicide note. She wrote it with regret that she wasn’t a man, and if she was a man, then people on the streets would notice her and treat her with respect. Light would shine on her and the birds would sing her name. Her life would have meaning. She told her parents in the note that she was sorry for not living up to their standards. She was sorry that she got an A- and a 3.9 GPA in college. She then jumped out her 3rd floor dorm window to her death. As soon as I was done reading the note, I was speechless. “such a waste. such a complete waste of life…potential…so unnecessary. With speed, emotions were sprinting through my mind and coursing through my veins. It was the first time I almost cried at something I had read.

That day something inside of me changed. That day, I knew that this was the population of people that I was to devote my time to and save. God placed inside of me a certain heart, a caring heart, a keen sense to listen, discern, and comfort. Gifts granted to me by my father and honed by me over the years I have been on this Earth. It is rare for a person to know exactly what they need to do in life, but this was my moment.

The next decision was not so easy. In my heart, I felt called to help the teenagers and adolescents of New Zealand. This meant leaving my family, friends, and everything that felt….comfortable. Not many can say that they have started as fresh as I was about to commit to. For two years I struggled. Praying…but only half heartedly. Looking, but not as diligently. One night, a friend, in whom I had not seen in 5 years, spoke into my life in a prophetic and real way. That night, I knew my life was about to change.

I brought it before my small group and a few others, and they affirmed what I was feeling in my heart. This wasn’t easy for them, because it meant me leaving. Still, they are disciplined and spoke wisely on my behalf.

Bottom line. When I receive my actual Masters in Social Work diploma (which is being mailed to me, and line up and agency overseas to work from…..I will be leaving. Yes. It will most likely be for quite some time. Yes. I have thought about it for a while. Yes it will be the hardest emotionally draining thing I’ve ever done. People, for me, this is still exciting. Stepping out in obedience is something I have to do. If it transpires that I should not be going to New Zealand, then I will seek him in prayer and take the next step. That’s all we can ever do. I am taking the step because I truly believe that this is what I should be doing, and that feeling is impossible to get over.

This was not an easy decision, but it’s one that you deserve to know about. I love you all, and I will never stop writing, as long as I have the means to.

IT’S OVER 1,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today this blog surpassed 1,000 views for the month of March. To give you some perspective, the most views this site has ever gotten was 16 months ago, when the site received 457 views in November 2010. This site got that many views in one week (March 4-10). 1,000 views is nearly 1/4th of ALL the views this blog has gotten…ever. So when I saw that the month of March would receive over 1,000 views, I was kinda blown away. I could NOT have gotten this much traffic without you reading. Thank you for finding the inner workings of my mind enjoyable, fun, and for some reason, worth reading. I don’t do it for the views, but since I do it for the love of writing, audience is to be expected. I just wanted to let you all know how crazy you’ve been this month. My thanks deserves a regrettable late night picture from my webcam. It’s the least I could do.

Creepy Smile...
Creepy Smile...

Empty Rooms

It is an empty feeling not having anyone around after you’ve gotten used to having people around. As of Saturday, both of my parents left the state. My dad went to Africa to help with A Light to the Nation’s Crusades, and my Mom took the opportunity to visit her sister in Colorado. As a result, I would be left to myself to care for the house and work on my studies. I was very happy to get to do this.

Saturday night came. I drove into the garage and parked the car. I entered the pitch dark home and looked for a light switch. The immediate feeling was not what I had come to predict: Elation, happiness, freedom to move around, peace. The feelings were closer to: Emptiness, hollow, sad, cold, lonely, lifeless. I took a moment to reflect on why I was feeling this way.

I came to a very simple conclusion. I never want to be alone. The feeling of loneliness was so foreign to me. I had never lived on MY OWN, without anyone, without interaction, in my entire life. In college, I had roommates. On trips I was with friends. At home, I was with family. My life has been defined by those that I love. By those that I surround myself with. My life = community. Without other people in my life, I think that I would become very sad. Some people thrive off of their “ME” time, and I enjoy a little bit myself…but…this was so much different. If I didn’t have my family or my friends with me in this life, I couldn’t do it.

Life was never meant to be lived alone.

This week will be productive to say the least. I know that I will get many things done and feel very accomplished. What I have come to realize in a whole new light is that; those accomplishments are worth nothing to me without someone else to share them with.