Some stay, some go…The question remains.

I have a dilema. Here in Montgomery, IL, I am going to Aurora University for my Bachelors in SWK and minor in SOC, and there–in only 1 year afterwards, I can receive a Masters Degree as well. Now the dilemma comes when I was recently asked the question, “What would you be willing to attempt for God, if you knew that you wouldn’t fail.” This question has begun to change my life, as it has many other people’s lives as well.

This has been plaguing my consciousness…In a good way. Some have heard this question before. Some have shrugged it off and went about their business. If the answer isn’t, “what I am doing right now” then I would say you need to do some serious praying and rearranging.

You see…life is SHORT…our days are numbered…and God didn’t put us on this planet to screw around…but rather to MAKE A DIFFERENCE by USING what HE has given us to advance HIS Kingdom and MAKE HIM FAMOUS!

Too many of us are held captive by fear…but remember He is THE MOST HIGH GOD!!!  Never let fear trump the potential God has placed in you!

By the way…if the thing that you would attempt scares you to death…if you have had sleepless nights thinking about it…if you KNOW that failure is a sure thing unless HE gets involved…then you should probably make a move…SOON!  (Like…maybe even RIGHT NOW!!!)

For me, the answer was immediate, “I would become a youth pastor and get paid well.” To this my friend replied,

“Why do you need to get paid well?”

“Because I would need to provide for myself and someday a family.”

“true, true, but God will provide!” This sounded like it came straight out of a sermon and was not easy to accept, but why? He WILL provide for me…always, no matter what I do.

So I am stuck. Stuck between going all the way to my Masters degree–or–getting my bachelors and jumping in head first into what I always wanted to do, but was too scared…fully trusting in God to provide and carry me. It’s that “life on the edge” that seems so appealing. I feel that I wouldn’t trust God as much knowing that I am fully capable of providing for myself. Now I know that jumping off a cliff hoping that an angel will catch me is no sane way of living…but there is some reason to madness in which people trust God. They don’t know what will come of their devotion, unless they are firm in their foundation in which Christ rests.

The Tears Clouds Bring

This is the wet, set in stone, dripping from a phone, a mothers cry, a babies sigh.

This is the dropping of pain, they’re feeling insane, when their screams are in vane.

These are the tears clouds bring, they tend to sing as they rip through the wings, birds fly in sync.

This is the damp reality, the truth in formality, the hidden mortality, beneath the fatality.

This is the ragging rapid, feeling pretty vapid, alone in the wake, mask of the fake.

The Grand, Rapid Travel

The travel shortens every time I decide to come. For reasons beyond emotions it never gets old, never gets cold, I’m always sold. The idea of sharing moments with friends, hoping that it never ends, time and time again. This city brings me joy and happiness like no other place, like a line I can trace, every street, every face, nothing can replace this more than special time in my life where both good and strife have marked my heart for good. So I keep up this routine, and travel through the gleam, through the rain and the sleet–rubbing on my feet–because this is apart of me…it sets me free.

The Wheels Turn [10.22.09]

Well, I am off to a better time in my life. This time goes back three years. Three years ago, I was entering a land that was new, foreign, and subtly exciting. I knew NO ONE. No one except a former teammate on my baseball team 200 miles away. A new experience in a city far from home. College. It even smelled smart. I was easily intimidated by everyone and stayed the confines of my empty, white noiseless room. This was comfort…sadly. The campus was more beautiful than I imagined. Each day, we would go around the campus with our freshman orientation group and learn the ropes. This is where I met Jenn. She and I quickly became good friends. Our sense of humors meshed into a hilarious laughing frenzy almost every time we hung out. I was glad. I had finally found someone to connect with. Through Jenn I began to meet new people. One week, we joined a intramural soccer team and there I met JJ. JJ was a crazy, long haired, freshman who lived in Jenn’s dorm. He was crazy cool and we talked for an hour outside his dorm one night after soccer about the game, life, and God. It wasn’t long before I began to hang out with his friends and thus meet more people. One night after studying a while for finals, I met up with Jenn in Johnny’s to study some more. There at the table was Jenn and her friend David Goodwin. This is when I met David, who later turned out to be my closest friend while at Calvin. We did almost everything together. One J-term, I spent the entire month in his room and never went back to my dorm. This was a fast friendship, but it was genuine. We talked late nights about some deep things; God, Grades, and Girls. He is still, to this day, the friend that I turn to for guidance and wisdom in areas I am too blind or close to see reason. I thank him for his loyal friendship, for I know that is something he values. As well as Jenn, for being the first friend and starting block to more friendships in the coming years I spent there at Calvin. I have always appreciated your enthusiasm whenever I return to visit. You are a true friend, and not many guys can say that about many people. So why go into such rich detail about a place? Why exasperate the description of a time in my life? Well, I am heading there this weekend and I am very happy to be able to see these people once again, who have made my life different. They have in most ways, shaped who I am today and have taught me many things about life. I have felt love and care from these people in ways that some never get to experience. I can say with full confidence that God had me there at that college for a very specific reason, and I feel so incredibly blessed. Thank you, to anyone who is reading this and was apart of my college experience. From the bottom of my heart. Thank You.

New Loot

Alright people, it can’t be helped. I work at Apple, you all know that. Well, with the installation of new products by our wonderful company, I am geeking out beyond the point of aid….way past it. Let me introduce to you the new iMac line: The new iMac’s have new displays that go all the way to the edge of the screen as well as SD card slots on the sides. Not to mention all the new KICK BUTT internal advancements that they have put into the iMac’s.

What else is new?…..Introducing The Magic Mouse. Simply put: The Coolest Mouse on the Market….period. The Mouse is completely touch sensitive and is wireless. I am buying one on Thursday.

And finally, the new White Macbook. New durable unibody enclosure, improved 7 hour battery, new LED display, and now a Glass Multi-Touch trackpad like the Macbook Pros. STILL $999. How they managed to KEEP the price at $999, I have no idea.
So As you can not see, but read…I am jonesing over this new loot. Mac has been lightyears ahead of everyone for years and though there are haters out there, let them hate. One day every knee will…, okay, that started to sound pretty bad, so I’ll stop there.