Oh boy. So inevitably, there will be movies I will watch that come up a little short. One of those movies I have reviewed was The Spirit. Needless to say, I didn’t give that movie much credit…at all. It was horrible. This trend is bound to happen once and a while. As you can already probably guess, this is the same style of review that I am giving the recent remake of Coco: The….I mean….Conan: The Barbarian.
First of all, I had seen maybe half of the original with “The Governator” himself. It was nothing to brag about. In good fashion, I was fully ready to stop watching this rendition near half way through out of sheer… disgust. The writing was bad. The graphics were bad. The amount of blood used…was bad. The casting was bad, aside from maybe Rachel Nichols. The overall taste of this film left a horrible residue on the roof of my mouth. Like after eating Captain Crunch, I needed a good rinsing.
This is more than me telling you to stay away from this film. This is me telling you to stay away from this franchise. The entire premise of a warrior going off and slaughtering everyone who even remotely tries to mess with him is so over the top. With skulls being squashed like watermelons, and dialogue that could make a 5th grade literary hopeful seem like Quentin Tarantino…I beg you not to see this. The intro scene to this movie alone begs the eternal question through this film…”Really?!! WHY?!”
If I was giving films ratings on my blog, which I don’t, I would give it “two thumbs down”, “F”, “1 out of 10”, and the cou de gra, “A mother’s disappointed glance.”