First Day on the Job


Hey everyone. So last night was my first day at the new job. What is my job? Well…I have a bachelors and masters degree in Social Work and wrote hundreds of papers on suicidal ideation, theory, and practice in social work, so……….naturally……………..I’m a Pizza Delivery Man.

I work at Village Inn Pizza, and my job is to take the pizzas where they need to go. Straight to the people’s mouths. I have decided to devote this segment of my blog to, “Things I Noticed On My First Day on the Job Delivering Pizzas.”

1. After spending 2 hours with my co-workers, it was VERY clear that they all needed therapy. Naturally that is exactly what I told my boss. [Boss rounds the corner in the kitchen after playfully tearing down a coworker]

Me: “This whole restaurant needs therapy.”

Boss: “Hahahaha”

Me: “I wasn’t kidding” [I was half kidding]

Boss: “And who are you supposed to be?”

Me: “A social worker.”

Boss: “Really?!”

Me: “Yeah.”

Boss: “Awesome.”

2. Secondly, which is redundant after noting that this is the second point…GPS’s are a delivery guy’s GODsend. I couldn’t do my job without one. I would seriously be dead in the water without it.

3. Lesbians like Our Pizza. I delivered pizza to two lesbians living together. That is all.

4. I Make a Mean Pizza. I do. I got really good at making a pizza in the day that I was there. Which leads me to my next observation.

5. I Learn Really Well in “Trial By Fire” Circumstances. I can’t really explain WHY I learn better when thrown into the fray with nothing but a spork in hand, but I do.

6. I Deliver FAST! Funny thing. Delivery men RARELY get pulled over for speeding because cops think that they could possibly be delivering to a station. Which means the cop that pulled over the delivery guy would endure some heavy ridicule by his fellow officers for making the food late. I love it!

7. I LOVE My Job. Think about it. How many of you get to Drive, Listen to your music all day, AND work with PIZZA all day long. This job is a blast and a half, and I love interacting with other people on the job too. It’s a clear bonus.

Well, that’s what I am doing for “monies,” as Corbin Elliott would say. I thought you would all get a kick out of what life is like for me now here in Grand Rapids. I miss you all like crazy [those of my readers who I left behind in Illinois] and I may possibly be back sometime in the Fall. Until then.

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