What I will miss about my Beard Pt. 2


Tomorrow is the big day. Tomorrow my beard will be no more and I will resemble that kid from Freaks and Geeks.  Yes, it will be a bittersweet day of mourning and rejoice. I can’t lie, this beard is breaching into ZZ Top territory, and I will be kindof glad to see it go.

Still, there will be time for rejoicing after the beard is dead. I dedicate this post to the things I am going to miss most dearly about my beard.

  1. Stroking it when I am thinking
  2. Keeping me warm
  3. Giving me professoriate Status without a PhD.
  4. Catching sweat, drips from a cup, & spills from soup.
  5. Shielding my clavicle from the rain
  6. Allowing me to secretly infiltrate the Hipster race and destroy them from the inside…
  7. Allowing me to think creatively on thebeardly.com
  8. Not shaving for 10 months…
  9. Before, my beard did the talking. Now, I have to start talking again…
  10. I felt the “inner man” living, thriving, and taking names. His name is: The Red Baron.
The Red Baron. He is ALL these things, and more.
 The Red Baron. He is ALL these things, and more.
Now, all that is left, is the deed. Once more, my face shall feel the cold steel of death, and my beard shall be no more. This beard has been with me through thick and thin. I have had it through my entire term in graduate school, and much, much more. I will miss you Red Baron, and I know many will miss you too.

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