Tomorrow is the big day. Tomorrow my beard will be no more and I will resemble that kid from Freaks and Geeks. Yes, it will be a bittersweet day of mourning and rejoice. I can’t lie, this beard is breaching into ZZ Top territory, and I will be kindof glad to see it go.
Still, there will be time for rejoicing after the beard is dead. I dedicate this post to the things I am going to miss most dearly about my beard.
- Stroking it when I am thinking
- Keeping me warm
- Giving me professoriate Status without a PhD.
- Catching sweat, drips from a cup, & spills from soup.
- Shielding my clavicle from the rain
- Allowing me to secretly infiltrate the Hipster race and destroy them from the inside…
- Allowing me to think creatively on thebeardly.com
- Not shaving for 10 months…
- Before, my beard did the talking. Now, I have to start talking again…
- I felt the “inner man” living, thriving, and taking names. His name is: The Red Baron.
The Red Baron. He is ALL these things, and more.