Stop. Reflect.


I was going to write a post on “same-sex relationships,” but that has lost its luster. Instead, I will talk to my audience of hundreds about the importance of Self-Reflection.

This will not be one of my “research” blog posts, where I pull out all of the latest and greatest research article to prove my point. No. This is merely a post on good word from yours truly. What do I mean by self-reflection? Okay. Picture the hardest day that you had this past month. If you didn’t have a seriously hard day this month, picture the worst day that you’ve ever had. Now picture a Jam Packed day. A day where you have a TON going on, almost too much to keep track of. Okay, now picture some of that all mixed together. Sounds like more than you could handle? Sounds a bit chaotic? This is the perfect battleground for my point.

On a day like the one that I described above, you are going to need to take a breather, even if it is for a few minutes (minimum). Whether you actually take a breather is kinda the point I’m trying to make. How many of us actually stop in our hectic lives to think? Do you? I know I don’t most of the time. “Stop and think? Eric, what are you talking about?” I’m talking about reflecting on the day, reflecting on what all went down, reflecting on what to do better. In that day I mentioned above, do you think that you could benefit from taking a Time Out? Stop. Breathe. Think. Breathe. Slow…down. think.

What I am proposing is not something that most U.S. Americans (and I speak for only those that I am surrounded by) choose to do on a daily basis. In the professional field, we call it “Self-Reflection,” or sometimes “Meditation.” I could pull out many, many articles on the benefits of doing what I am talking about, but I will let you do that if you are interested. Here, I’ll even get you started. I am convinced of what self-reflection allows us to do, let me explain:

When we actively choose to reflect on what just happened, and especially in the case of the day I described above, we are able to ask ourselves some very important questions: “What just happened? How did I handle that? Could I have responded any different? Did I want to?” You also engage in your RAW emotional feelings: “I am seriously emotionally compromised now. I should NOT be talking to anyone, and I don’t even want to talk to anyone. Why would they do something like that? I need to calm down. In the past, I have reacted out of anger, and I wont do that this time. I should talk to someone. I feel cheated. I feel hurt. I feel confused. I am unsure how to continue from here.”

I have run into many of these type of situations personally in my internship with clients, and self-reflection has enabled me to become a better therapist. In knowing/reflecting on a session that I had with a client, and reflecting in the present, not days afterwards, I am able to heal and improve the experience the next time. WE can do the same thing with our relationships, friendships, or situations that we run into. Let reflection be your guide, let it  improve how you do life. Take anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes to reflect on the day. Let me know if you have done this before, or if you try this out.

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