It is an empty feeling not having anyone around after you’ve gotten used to having people around. As of Saturday, both of my parents left the state. My dad went to Africa to help with A Light to the Nation’s Crusades, and my Mom took the opportunity to visit her sister in Colorado. As a result, I would be left to myself to care for the house and work on my studies. I was very happy to get to do this.
Saturday night came. I drove into the garage and parked the car. I entered the pitch dark home and looked for a light switch. The immediate feeling was not what I had come to predict: Elation, happiness, freedom to move around, peace. The feelings were closer to: Emptiness, hollow, sad, cold, lonely, lifeless. I took a moment to reflect on why I was feeling this way.
I came to a very simple conclusion. I never want to be alone. The feeling of loneliness was so foreign to me. I had never lived on MY OWN, without anyone, without interaction, in my entire life. In college, I had roommates. On trips I was with friends. At home, I was with family. My life has been defined by those that I love. By those that I surround myself with. My life = community. Without other people in my life, I think that I would become very sad. Some people thrive off of their “ME” time, and I enjoy a little bit myself…but…this was so much different. If I didn’t have my family or my friends with me in this life, I couldn’t do it.
Life was never meant to be lived alone.
This week will be productive to say the least. I know that I will get many things done and feel very accomplished. What I have come to realize in a whole new light is that; those accomplishments are worth nothing to me without someone else to share them with.